Wednesday, April 20, 2005

South African motor manufacturers recall DRIVERS.....

Local luxury car manufactures BMW Merc & Audi have just announced the recall of all their DRIVERS as they have discovered that they are all suffering from a latent defect affecting the left brain, right brain and no brain called the S.A.D syndrome. S.A.D syndrome stands for Stupid Arrogant and Dangerous. The syndrome manifests itself in many ways such as: overtaking on the left hand side, overtaking on the left hand side at Mach1, riding on your exhaust pipe, trying to fit a moving 3 meter vehicle into a 1 meter gap, moving from lane to lane without indicators, riding in the fast lane and doing a right turn across lanes to take the left hand off-ramp without slowing down or indicating, speeding without the necessary safety equipment or ability to manage the situation, children on front passenger seats without seatbelts, smoking & eating & doing make-up & talking on a cellphone all at the same time, the “god given right to the road” complex, flashing headlights to warn those in front that they are wearing their pervert raincoats, counting with fingers in the air, etc etc etc. The situation is aggravated by the fact that the city Metro Departments are unable to assist as they are either too busy developing their ghost CV’s, ripping off the poor, lazing in their luxury vehicles or collecting their quota of speeding fines. Indications are that the situation will not get better and there are signs that the problem is also spreading to 4 by 4’s which has created a new strain of this problem called the S.A.D **** syndrome. Something that has been prevalent in the taxi industry for many years which also suffers from CIS, or better know as the Criminally Insane Syndrome. As this syndrome is incurable manufacturers will be doing DRIVER assessments on exactly what the brain deficiencies are and will issue bumper stickers to warn fellow road users. In addition these bumper stickers will also be used by the insurance industry to grade future policies

Monday, February 14, 2005

A day in the life of a South African .....

My first post ...... scary ...... here goes .......
Well another day in Africa. The government still display the arrogance they had when they came to power 10 years ago. I call it the "half a full or the half empty" glass party. When it suits them they jump one way and when it doesn't suit them they jump the the same way, but still deny it was the same way!
What is so sad is that they have come a long way, but refuse to stand up and be counted when it matters.
Take for example the stance on Zimbabwe. One big glorified mess run by the idiot of Africa. A dangerous idiot at that and one who constantly makes a fool of our president. However for some unknown reason the ANC will not take action against them despite being the only country in Africa which can have a dramatic impact given our location, economy, etc. If it was a white on black situation then there would be no problem and we would have already employed economic sanctions, blockades, etc.
It is very diffcult to understand and to explain how our govenrment condones black on black violence, intimidation, corruption, gross human violations, etc. But then we have a history of this type of behaviour - Haiti being another example of a basket case that we supported.
And on top of it we want the African Union to be taken seriously. Funny ha ha ........
Oh well lest see what this week brings .........